The Twelve Dates of Christmas Time
I have been publishing a few cryptic status updates on Facebook recently in regards to the many suitors within my crazy life that is dating. Since heading back online, i have had some super weird horror tales (that I’ll save your self for a subsequent entry) however for now, I was thinking you would enjoy a far more in depth description associated with the males i am speaking with.
I personally use the term “men” instead loosely!
Suitor no. 1: Name: JJ Age: 39 Height: 6’3 Job: Engineer Lives: longer Island OkCupid Match: a disappointing 69% we will call him JJ, mostly because that’s the nickname just their sis is permitted to make use of. From other people, it is hated by him. Kinda anything like me with Kimmy. You are able to phone me personally Kim, Kimberly, or Kimba, but also for the passion for all plain things holy, PLEASE usually do not phone me personally Kimmy. (Unless 
you are my small cousin. I am called by him Timmy. Cutest thing ever! ) JJ and I also were dating for all months. We met on the internet and their writing hooked me personally above whatever else. He is incredibly smart, aimed at their work, well look over, super nerdy, and extremely high. Our times have included pizza and guy of metal, per day during the coastline, and a swanky supper with their buddies among countless others. We have been therefore great together. We knew We enjoyed him fairly in the beginning, and would joyfully call it quits my solitary woman status for a genuine relationship with JJ. With me talking to other guys since he isn’t “ready” to be exclusive / committed to me, he said that he’s “totally ok. We occur to understand that he’s NOT okay with this specific, however if that is what he desires us to do, than We’ll take action. Enter the remaining portion of the Suitors. Reputation: UNKNOWN
Suitor # 2: title: My Colleague’s Father’s company Partner’s Son — you might have previously learn about him in the last weblog entry, My husband to be. Age: 29 Height: 6’0 Job: Construction worker everyday everyday everyday Lives: has their home that is own on Island OkCupid match: No clue, although I would personally want to learn! My teammate at the office wished to set me personally up with # 2 over a 12 months ago, and through a number of circumstances, we never ever came across. He finally got my quantity and now we’ve been texting for a number of months. We have had a couple of phone that is good, however the many disappointing thing had been which he had been a cigarette cigarette smoker. Instant deal breaker for me personally.
Suitor #3: title: Dan Age: 38 Height: 6’0 Job: IT for the appropriate company in NYC everyday lives: Astoria OkCupid Match: 82% Dan and I also had been chatting previously come july 1st, before i acquired afraid of males (which actually means i simply don’t need to get harmed once again! ) He delivered great communications, high in witty remarks and humor that is insightful. He is easy and smart to speak with making me feel immediately comfortable. Before we took my profile down for many months, I delivered Dan this message: “Hey, I got some individual material happening right now, so am using my profile straight down for some time. If you should be still on here whenever I reactivate it (which for your benefit i really hope you are not), you’re going to be the person that is first message. ” Would not you realize it, a couple of months later on I updated my profile and within twenty four hours of signing on, Dan published for me. He stated, “Hey, i am hoping that you took the full time which you necessary to sort everything away. We examined every few of times to see if perhaps you were online once more. We missed conversing with you. Welcome back. ” And simply like this, Dan and I also started interacting every single day. He is also much easier to speak with now him better that I know. We share loves of bacon, jazz, Cards Against Humanity, new york, farmer’s areas, and nation music. Dan and I also simply just take photos of y our text and food them to one another on a regular basis. I am called by him through the food store to state things such as ” We have pasta and eggs in the home. Exactly what do we make with that? ” and I also talk him through the aisles to generate one thing delicious. Our very very first telephone call had been as he had been wandering the supermarket, plus it felt so normal. It felt like us. Status: ACTIVE
Suitor # 4: title: Steve Age: 32 Height: 5’11 Job: petrol fireplace repairman life: longer Island (way to avoid it eastern) OkCupid Match: 89% Steve and I also began referring to our provided passion for tea. The very first time he texted me personally, we’d both just sat right down to a hot glass of Trader Joe’s Pomegranate White Tea! Of the many teas on earth to be consuming at the time, fate tossed us to the exact same steamy cup. We took this being a good indication, and we also had a number of hour-long telephone calls. Steve provided me with their final title so of course I facebook stalked him. (Sorry people but it is 2013 — knowledge is energy! ) there have been several pictures of him having a child that is small but he’d never pointed out a youngster prior to. Their twitter handle had been on the website, thus I looked that up too. The absolute most tweet that is recent “My crazy bitch of a ex spouse whom hates me personally using the fire of a lot of suns is stalking my twitter feed. Get fucking figure! ” there have been a couple of other explicit tweets about just getting 4 hours per week along with his son, her being psycho, the whole world ass that is generally sucking. We do not judge anybody centered on their social networking, but that may seem like too baggage that is much us to manage straight away. Sorry, Steve. Status: ELIMINATED DUE TO ANGRY TWEETS
Suitor #12: title: The Pianist Age: 31 Height: 6’0 Job: Concert Pianist and Piano Teacher Lives: brand New Jersey (ugh) OkCupid Match: 93% The Pianist is incredibly achieved, educated, cultured, well look over, and well traveled. He spends almost all of their amount of time in Manhattan and thought we would reside in nj for the view of NYC. He could’ve resided in Brooklyn when it comes to views of our reasonable skyline, but he prefers the illusion of suburbia amidst the big town. He could be additionally a fan of low priced gasoline, low fees, and a broad selection of malls. He plays piano at sets from business occasions to personal parties to concert halls. He shows pupils through the protege that is youngest to your collegiate elite. He’s sort and thoughtful and keeps in touch just sufficient so that i understand he is thinking about me personally, although not a great deal as to frighten me personally away. He is Armenian, that we knew absolutely nothing about except that the Kardashians are Armenian. (i am sorry ahead of time to your whole nation of Armenia that the Kardashian clan may be the thing that is only learn about your country! Really, i did not even comprehend that much. The Pianist explained! ) He is wonderful thus far and I also am very excited to make the journey to understand him better. Reputation: ACTIVE
Suitor #13: Name: Nick the Dick Age: an overgrown adolescent Height: gutter Job: irritating individuals life: in a dark and dirty spot OkCupid Match: that is simply absurd Alright, i understand that we said there have been twelve times of Christmas time, but I experienced to throw this 1 on once and for all measure. Bad, unlucky thirteen. Nick had been charming sufficient online but because the saying goes, “Good in some recoverable format, shit in actual life. ” Nick skipped on the texting area of the on the web progression that is dating called me the moment he got my number. He had been extremely talkative (an excessive amount of so! ) and I also could not get yourself a term in edgewise. He said he does not have confidence in love being all “doves and butterflies and performing and shit. Love is not like this. It is crap quite often. You have simply surely got to find somebody you are able to tolerate. ” He additionally stated that whenever children that are raising “it’s best to simply place a sack over their heads often so that they shut up and listen. Guess what happens they state about physical violence: if it is no longer working, you’re not utilizing enough of it! ” Last but not least, as he asked exactly just what my weirdest internet dating experience happens to be, we told him in regards to the man week that is last desired to pee on (with? ) me personally. Nick’s reaction had been “therefore I guess permitting me just take a shit for you is going of this concern, cause you are a prude? ” Status: ELIMINATED ON THE BASIS OF HAVE YOU BEEN FUCKING KIDDING ME.
